The recent wave of harassment allegations has increasingly exposed the way a distinct power imbalance can blur the boundary of consent. If you acquiesced at the time, but feel sick thinking about it now? The Cut spoke with five women who are seeing their experiences with bosses, mentors, or teachers differently today. There are a few common threads: The women were all under 22 when the relationships began; they were approached by men who were older, sometimes by decades; and they considered their relationships to be consensual at the time. Here are their stories. I was 19 and I got an internship at a record label.
Restaurant Manager Manipulates Employee
Most Helpful Guys
There are few relationships that force you to confront issues of power, sexuality, gender, legality and reputation as much as sleeping with your boss. It's fraught territory, but it seems that doesn't stop us from going there. Hierarchical workplace romances are more frequent than relationships between colleagues who are equals. You can read more about why here. We found two people willing to spill the beans on their experiences of sleeping with the boss and to share their advice. We lived in the same neighbourhood, so we started to have late nights, which ended with us stumbling home. If anything, I enjoyed feeling like I was teasing and provoking her. Any potential damage to my reputation, or ability for people to question the credibility of my performance, was something I desperately wanted to avoid. I lied to my colleagues who quizzed me on why I remained perpetually single, and were interested to hear stories or see pictures of the pretend ladies I mentioned.
Most Helpful Girl
Deciding to have a sexual relationship with your boss is normally a bad idea. It can result in problems in the workplace, both with co-workers and with your supervisor, who may just be exploiting you. Things can go especially sour when the sexual relationship stops but the employment relationship continues and the employee suffers retaliation as a result. If the employee feels pressured into having sex to receive workplace favors or just to be treated like everyone else , it could be considered sexual harassment. Whenever one partner has power over the other at work, the relationship is inherently unequal, and any sexual relations can be seen as non-consensual.
That was my first thought too. So I would second the recommendation to wait until after you are no longer employed there to pursue anything. Make sure you have his contact info before you're gone, and wait to follow up until after. No one said men are like that. Have no idea why you brought that up. You like someone should you tell them you want to hook up? I didn't ask that.